The Autism Wellbeing Podcast
Tired of podcasts that don’t sound like real life?
Welcome to The Autism Wellbeing Podcast — where real people sit on the sofa and talk honestly about life, autism, relationships, work, mess-ups, wins, and everything in between.
Expect laughter, straight-talking, powerful stories, and the kind of conversations you don’t usually hear out loud. No scripts. No pretending. Just community, connection, and proper human moments.
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On 19 April, Jon and a few comrades are running the Manchester Marathon—not because he enjoys suffering (debatable), but to help raise awareness and quietly cause good trouble with Autism Wellbeing Project CIC. It’s his preferred method of advocacy: put the work in, start conversations, and push for a more humane, inclusive autism world—one mile at a time.
The Autism Wellbeing Podcast
Episode 19 - Kaleidoscope Festival 2026: No Other Choice - Vic Talks About Her Experience Being Autistic at Boarding School
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Welcome to the first EVER podcast pop-up special! Our podcast was invited by Nicola Haigh, Community Manager at the Storyhouse in Chester to be a part of the incredible Kaleidoscope Festival that is held annually celebrating people with learning disabilities, neurodiverse and all kinds of disabilities as part of Disability Pride Month! Sarah had the mammoth challenge of doing FOUR different interviews in ONE day, with guests with so many different stories to tell.
Joining Sarah on this podcast special episode filmed in The Den in the Children's Library at the Storyhouse for Kaleidoscope Festival, we welcome to the guest spinney chair (rather than the usual sofa) the first time onto the podcast, the amazing Vic.
From a young age, Vic thought she was different. She pinpoints primary school being the place that she felt different especially as she was not at the same school as her brothers. Thanks to her mum's incredible advocating for Vic, she was finally told that she was autistic and had a PDA profile when she was a teenager, which she "felt made sense and that it wasn't me it was something I have that I can't control".
Pathological Demand Avoidance is a diagnosis that is often misunderstood by the general public: Vic talks about how her mum figured out what was happening to her and how it made her feel relieved to know "it's not always me". People with PDA experience an anxiety-driven resistance to everyday requests and expectations; even simple tasks can trigger a "fight-or-flight" response if forced.
Vic talks about her experiences within the education system: the good times of a primary school feeling like a great fit to having her only one option for high school where they could support "her needs": at a boarding school in Wales! She talks about how there needs to be more options available for SEND education, how her experience of boarding school affected her making the transition from primary to high school even harder and her experience of having to go to Saturday school!
Vic is endearing and articulate during the conversation and brings so much natural humour when she talks about her family & how she never wants to leave her family home! As you will hear when you listen to this episode, Vic loves to make people laugh with it being one of her many talents, she also shows a vulnerable side to herself talking about her school experiences and how things need to be better & more options for special educational needs and disabilities education.
Vic talks about wanting to potentially join the Autism Wellbeing Project joining one of the many activities on offer, her love of singing and how she would be lost without the love and support of her parents!
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Come and be a part of our inclusive and welcoming community that supports over 300 people across the UK! For more information, please click for the link to our website here
Hello. You get the spinny chair. You've already met Kat before. Yes. We've got Marie and we have got Ellie. Hello. Very professional. Very professional.
SPEAKER_00You're probably thinking that. You are a laughing in the back.
SPEAKER_01If you want to, you can spin on the chair, but obviously if you don't want that to be felt. Are you feeling good? Yeah. Yeah. Excellent. That's all I want. All it's good when we're here. Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Autism Wellbeing podcast. I am Sarah and I'm your host for the day, and you might notice we're somewhere different. We have been here before, we're at the Story House as part of their Kaleidoscope Festival, which celebrates all neurodivergent and the disabled community in general. We are here as the Pop-Up Podcast. So we are here with a very special guest that I know quite well. But before I introduce you to this wonderful person here, we want to thank Nicola Haig for inviting us to be a part of this festival. She's the community's manager, and we've interviewed her before, and she's amazing. A bit about the Autism Wellbeing project. We are a company that work in Witness and it's all about autism affirming therapy, and we provide free activities for autistic adults within the community, including this podcast right here. So without further ado, hello guests. Hello, I'm Vic. Yes, you are Vic. And where are you from? Northwich. Well, near Northwich. Yeah, you're in the middle of nowhere. You're like in a field. Yeah, there's lots of field. We normally do a segment of breaking ice with a joke, but we are going to do something a little bit different because I want to learn a bit more about you. So I um want to know an interesting fact about you. So it could be anything. Well, you kind of know this fact anyway. I can sing, but not in front of people. Well, we won't ask you to sing now, don't worry. I can vouch, she definitely can sing, especially when it's high school musical in the car. Or something.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, or tennis with karaoke style.
SPEAKER_01It's very strange though, but I put my fact down as like playing musical instruments because I can I can play six.
SPEAKER_00Oh wow.
SPEAKER_01I know, but not all at once. Um that would be extra. Yeah, and I'd need a lot more hands because imagine trying to play the ukulele, the guitar, saxophone, clarinet, recorder, and the ocarina. I wouldn't have enough air in my lungs. Maybe you could teach my dad saxophone because god he's slow. Poor dad. Sorry, Dad. So I've known you now for a few months. Feels like a long time. It feels like a longer time than that, though. We've talked about lots of different things when it comes to being neurodivergent. Was there a time that sticks out in your head where you first thought, I think I'm different from other people?
SPEAKER_00Quite early on, I'd say, probably in primary school. Yeah. That early. But probably more than last year. I mean, I had an operation on the hip. Plus, why am I at a different school to where my brothers went, stuff like that.
SPEAKER_01Yes, because I was gonna say, we're gonna talk a bit about education and things like that, because you've had lots of different experiences. And like off-camera, we talked about the fact that you had been told that you had what they call a PDA profile, so pathological demand avoidance. Yes. Now, when you were a teenager as well, being told that. How was that experience?
SPEAKER_00Like, did they actually explain what that means to you? It was funny because it was more mum who kind of figured all that out. She was very undetermined, I think, to try and pinpoint what was happening. I'd get very angry very easily, stuff like that. But I used to be a lot worse when I was younger and could be physical as well. But yeah, I think mum just connected all the dots. She was the one who kind of figured it out, to be honest. It sounds like I told the doctors that she's got there.
SPEAKER_01She it sounds like she did her homework, which is amazing. I bet your mum's um obviously a big advocate for you. So when you were told this, were you surprised?
SPEAKER_00Not really. No, it made sense to be honest. It wasn't me, it was something I had that you can't control.
SPEAKER_01For people that don't know in the audience, like pathological demand avoidance, people assume it's children just not wanting to do something, but it is far from that.
SPEAKER_00That's a big a big thing that kind of shows, especially when you're a teenager, and I think it's took Lum quite a while to figure it out because of being a teenager, that comes with its own problems.
SPEAKER_01But when you heard about this though, did it make you feel relieved that there was um that you had something, or did it make your anxiety around it worse?
SPEAKER_00Relieved really. For a while, mum and dad were there too. When I wasn't at school, because I went to a boarding school, so when I was home, or they'd take me out for a day, whatever. I'd go for anger management sessions and to the point where I was like, it's not always me. Yeah. And they could see that it was not always me. Yeah. But that was nice that she saw that. And it's still to this day a struggle sometimes, especially with my dad.
SPEAKER_01Because a lot of it it's because you basically feel like you're in fight or flight about something that people would see as quite everyday. Like someone telling somebody that's got that profile, put your shoes on. Yeah, your brain will do anything and everything to like not do that. Do that.
SPEAKER_00That's why I struggled. Like, I can't really do a job. I've done work experience when I was at Doreen Park in Chester, and she couldn't have been nice to the lady who's in charge of everyone, but I just hated having someone in charge, and that's pretty much why. And when I say that, it's obviously people is to have an understanding of the background of why, but yeah, it involves a lot of research to understand and a lot of communication as well, learning how to make things easier for you.
SPEAKER_01Because a lot of people will just go, well, it's just instruction, that's all that's what it is. But if you just simply change it to like, oh, it's looking like it's gonna rain outside, that's better than saying, Oh, put your coat on. Yeah, yeah, and it's just as simple as just changing things around.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like when my mum says, Have you got this, have you got that? I'm like, Yes, mum, shut up. It's like, have you? More to the point.
SPEAKER_01Because no doubt you forget things. Exactly. And as you mentioned, you've got brothers. So we we all love our brothers here, like I've got three of them, and uh well, yes, Phil's fine. I don't know how you've got two is bad enough. Because like I've got three, and they aren't diagnosed, self-diagnosed, or anything. Are your brothers?
SPEAKER_00No, no, but they are the sponsor thing, like because I am, I could see it in others. Like I said, and mum and dad, they have traits, but so do my brothers. My oldest brother loves to wind me up. That's like his full-time job when I'm around.
SPEAKER_01It's in the job description of older brother, is to wind you up, like my older brother knows that to the point where mum still has to get involved to stop us arguing.
SPEAKER_00She's like, Oh, stop it. I was like, You've got a child, two children, and this is how you behave. That's just brilliant.
SPEAKER_01Just like mum. So obviously, growing up, you mentioned the fact that you went to a different school to your brothers. How was that?
SPEAKER_00The first one was the primary school. I started at the Grange where the boys went. Yeah. And there wasn't a special needs department for extra learning. They figured, I think the teachers did, which was good of them, saw that and thought I needed extra help in those areas. So they suggested the school called Cransley, which is in Great Budworth. Yes. It was great. It was great. It's a very small special needs department. Work for while I was younger. Yeah. Got on with the one-to-one person, having a one-to-one lesson every week. So in the end, when it was came to the time of going to high school, they have that high school. They didn't think that was enough anymore for what curriculum you'd be on at high school. So they were the ones that then suggested. Either it was either St David's College in Clintonau or Weaverham High School, and they knew pretty much I'd hate that because it's so many people.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00And like thousands. And that's a big thing for anyone to go from a primary school to a high school. Yeah, the adjustment is massive. Massive. Yeah, I don't think people realise. And then for any child who's turning into a teenager, and yeah, they recommended it. That so I ended up going there. I couldn't fault the special needs department, they were very good, and it was a lot bigger. Like they choose someone who suited who you got on with, basically. Yeah. Yeah, it was really good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so like the that's when you went to Kwan. Is it Landon? I don't know how you've properly said. I don't know either. And I live. Yeah. Especially how was that experience like being away from home as well?
SPEAKER_00I hated it. Did you? When you um go, you have a house parent who lives in a girl's dormitory with us. Oh she was great that she was old, a lot older, loads of experience. She was great. She even said she'd I'm not ready for this. But it was just no one did anything to take me out of it. So I came to the point like where I'd be so angry if mum's every weekend I'd go home. We'd have, and this is another thing, we'd have Saturday school in the morning. Oh god. Until midday. So we never got a full like weekend. I'd be on the train home at midday and then have to go back the next day. Luckily we had a house there, but it's not like to stay with my mum, but that kind of never brought good memories back. No, I can imagine. And in the end, because I hated boarding so much, I ended up going home every day. Oh, did you? From London, though. Coming home every day. Yeah. So but that would mean waking up at six o'clock every morning, getting the train, already still being late for well, assembly who I'm not gonna go in when it's already started and just like present myself. But then I wouldn't get home till seven o'clock at night because school didn't finish till five. So that's exhausting.
SPEAKER_01I've just I feel exhausted just thinking about sleep and lessons and I think this is the thing, like they there needs to be some sort of middle ground between that because the fact you had to go to Wales, which is another country, to go to find somewhere that was at least trying to provide you education, yeah, that just shouldn't be happening.
SPEAKER_00No, I feel like and still to this day there's not enough because weaver is still one of the top ones for our area for that sort of thing. But I think anyone who's got any special needs that need extra support wouldn't do well in that situation, so I'm surprised it is such a big school. Because when I le I did leave St David's eventually, I just it was the summer holidays, it was Monday, Easter Monday, and we were going back on a Tuesday. I know it was a Sunday, but we were going back, boards go back the day before school starts. And I it ruined that day because I was thinking about school, and then so I think it was that night I said, I'm not going Yeah, not going back.
SPEAKER_01And I'm I'm not surprised because that just it just sounds like it was a really bad experience.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I did I was reluctant to ever go back to the school in general just to see anyone. I said, I'll come for a meeting when no one's around. And I mean no one. Yeah. And I need a route, quick route to get in and out. And I did, and they were just money grabbers, to be honest. So it's a private school, so it was just they were literally money grabbers. Like we had to pay for that term, yeah. And I don't even know how much should be now, but it's like £8,000 a term, and I'm not even there. It was a three-week holiday because we get an extra week off because it'd be in the board.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, you do, don't you? Because the private schools have like extra holidays, which I don't understand because you're paying for it and then you have less time in education. But more for the teachers' sake, probably.
SPEAKER_00Probably because of Saturday school as well. Like I know, and then you'd have exyat weekends, which would mean you wouldn't have Saturday school, but the point now with Saturday school anyway. It was literally like two lessons. And that was it.
SPEAKER_01And the thing is, we can talk about all this stuff all day, but we've actually got to wrap up the episode. Um, but before we finish, do you have a message of thanks that you want to give to anybody that's supported you or anybody anything like that?
SPEAKER_00Well, probably just mum and dad, really. I'd be lost without them. Oh. But that I'm never we're never moving. There's a lot of stuff in our house. As you know. Yes, I do. I do know. Um, they like to collect, yeah, as do you. As do I, yeah. I'm not saying it's all them, but you know, I've lived there less years than they are. But yeah, probably just them, really, because especially my mum. But my dad obviously supports me money-wise. I couldn't have gone to those schools without him working 12-hour shifts. Yeah. So it's one of them. He'd leave home at half five in the morning, wouldn't come home till about seven at night. So that's a massive sacrifice. Yeah, for 30 odd years. Yeah, and you would do it over again because it's for you. So and the boys, yeah, they and they went to great universities. I was never interested in that, but which is fair enough. Yeah. It's a lot of studying, but they didn't use their qualifications, so it doesn't really make a difference.
SPEAKER_01So, what did you do that for? Exactly, exactly. So, have you enjoyed your time on the podcast? I have. Yeah, it's gone very fast. Feel free to come again um to our base in Witness. Um, it'd be nice for you to come over and do some of the activities that we've got. Yeah, I'd like to. Yes, we will definitely get on with that. We should. And Kath is waving a card at me because that's what you're going to be getting at the end of the podcast, um, with um information on there about the autism well-being project. So thank you. I'm glad that made you all laugh. Thank you for being our guest on the first ever pop up we've ever done. Yeah, it's a really cool idea. I really like it. And yes, so thank you so much, everybody, and uh see you in the next episode. Thank you. That was a bit fantastic.
